I was there for a family wedding. In the morning, as we, my elder sister aged eighty, my grand- daughter ten-years of age and me, came out of the lift, I saw a relative, a young lady with a child in her arms standing in the aisle. As I approached her, she came forward and touched my feet. I blessed her and her child, and then introducing people with me, I said, ‘ She is my elder sister Nimmo from Bangalore and here is my younger granddaughter Veda.’
They exchanged the pleasantries and then my sister said, ‘I have not recognised you.’
‘We have not met earlier Buaji. I am Kush’s wife,’ she said. After some casual talk regarding health, happiness and the ensuing function, we proceeded our ways.
Sometime later, in the dining hall during breakfast, I saw her sitting on the adjoining table feeding mashed banana to her baby. I walked up to her, placed my hand on her shoulder, blessed her and said, ‘I am sorry Niharika for what happened in the morning.’
She looked at me and in an astonished tone asked, ‘Sorry for what, Mamaji? What happened ?
‘I did not introduce you to my sister. Well, at that moment I just could not recollect your name, and I did not want you to be introduced either as Rohit- Sangu’s daughter-in-law or Kush’s wife.’
She looked at me with surprise. I could see a glint of admiration too in her eyes. After a silence of a few seconds, maybe she was concentrating on her thoughts, she said, You don’t have to be apologetic. I understand it can happen at your age,’ and then after a pause added, ‘You are really great Mamaji.’ Blessing her a second time, I returned to the table where we were seated.
Before I could make myself comfortable in the chair, my granddaughter asked, ‘Dadu, Why did you go there and what did you say to her?’
I told her about our conversation. She immediately hugged me and said, ‘Only you can do that Dadu. I am so proud of you.’
To be honest, I was a bit taken aback, so I asked her, ‘What’s so great about it?’.
This time it was my son who responded, ‘What Niharika said is right Papa. At your age, people are bound to forget names at the required moment. Nothing wrong in it. But it is the second part, namely your approach to the issue that has impressed Veda. You wanted to introduce Niharika with her own identity. And having failed in doing so at the right moment, you felt bad, and then went to apologise. That’s your greatness.’
Thereafter, while I was munching breakfast, my mind was racing hard trying to fathom the depth in what my son had said: I was great because I realised my mistake and then went to apologise to a person younger than me! Well, to people of my generation, it is normal behaviour. We learnt it that way.
In the present times however, realising the mistake and accepting it is considered great. Wow, what a change! And what a great learning for me at this ripe age of double-seven!
Wg Cdr DP Sabharwal
Absolutely true. There is dignity in accepting your shortcoming, whatever might be its reason, and making honest amends. This trait is slowly disappearing.