74

“When I was your age, I’d (blah blah)……”

“You have it so easy nowadays. When I was young, (blah blah)…”

“You have technology. As a kid, I (blah blah)…”

I’d always be at a loss at finding a solution after these heavy duty dialogues were thrown at me. Did you find any help when such “golden words of wisdom” were pronounced!?

They’d only turn on the heat to my boiling thoughts. These ‘well-wishers’ not only pushed me farther inside my shell but also enticed me to vacuum seal it! Instead of reaching out with my fears, I’d find myself caught in the quicksand of my mental wars…

Loneliness (and vengeance) counted years for the tables to turn.

It took 29 years for the sun to shine! My elder brother and bhabhi presented the family with twins. Translation – twice the opportunity to advise to!

As they charted their milestones, I waited for my time to peak…

My patience finally paid off. There came days when the twins fumbled, failed, and gave up. Bawling away their frustrations is when I swooped in to impart some much-needed gyaan…

“Pata hai, in my new school, I couldn’t make friends…”

From the corner of my eye, I saw the twins’ teary eyes reflecting a glint. THAT was my moment to be a hero. And I did not falter.

Rapt in attention, the toddlers teleported as I wove my story. By the end of my monologue, their rage had dissipated. One of them confided, “I miss home once I enter the school’s gate…and that makes me cry…”

Whooping silently inside, I revelled in this breakthrough…

My need to share tales only increased when another niece joined the family.

As the three toddlers manoeuvre through every day, I’d share many stories of my failures, how I made mistakes and paid for them, or times when I’ve regretted a bad decision.

The trio knows that I didn’t play for the State Football team thanks to my misdirected anger. The trio knows that I am not a dentist because I watched a lot of TV and chose to rebel instead of study.

The trio definitely knows that emotions can get the better of us and drive us to poor choices.

Thanks to my life stories, the trio knows that carelessness is costly; I’m a living example.

But my life today is also a lesson of perseverance. I occasionally also share stories of my victories, however small or big. When they see me today, they know – “Despite a fall, I took the next best step…” I proudly show them – “Despite no career graph, I continue to work on my self-discovered qualities…”

I’m mindful when the mic is in my hand – in those moments I have the power to show that I’m above them or show them that I was once a kid too and found myself in the crosshairs of life. With pride, I choose to display those scars.

When life is giving me this lemon, I’ll make the sweetest lemonades for my munchkins; the sour ones dealt to me shall not be carried forward.

I want them to know that I’ll never judge their shortcomings and that I’ll empathise with their struggles. I want them to know that their problems will neither be dismissed nor ridiculed…

I want them to know that their Bhuiii is not perfect. She battles imperfection… and still is a hero in her and their eyes!