Ever since I was in school, I had this crazy fascination – every person (alive or dead) I would look upto, I wanted to be ‘inside their bodies!’ I wanted to feel what they were feeling that time; what was their thinking in those moments; what was going on in their mind in various situations; what were they planning for the future; how would they motivate themselves during tough times?

I would imagine myself to be inside the body of various people –

• Shivaji Maharaj to see how he would gather courage to challenge the might of Mughals and British
• Gandhiji to find out what it meant when millions of people would look at his next steps
• An ordinary citizen to know what life was when India was called ‘Sone ki Chidiya’ (Golden Bird)
• Chanakya to understand how to strategize and create a leader like Chandragupta Maurya
• Gautama Buddha to feel that eternal peace every minute of His life
• Major Dhyanchand to know how it felt to be called magician and people flocking stadiums to watch him play
• Kapil Dev to feel that elation of captaining India to win the 1^st ever Cricket World Cup in 1983, when no one give us a chance
• Mahendra Singh Dhoni to know what it means to take so many matches towards the end and winning them for the country. All this with composure at its peak
• My school principal Mrs. Madhavi Kapur who took education to a different level altogether. I wanted to be inside her to understand what it means for the heart to beat for students

This is a fascination and will continue to be a fascination. But this thought has helped me build me relationships. Though practically I can’t go ‘inside someone’s body’, yet I can try to step in their shoes and try to feel/ think what they must be feeling. It helps me not to jump to conclusions and try to understand the other person.

As a parent, I think it will be exciting to be ‘inside our children’s body!’ Imagine living life through them? Can you try to feel their excitement in small things –

• How much happiness they would be feeling over a scoop of ice-cream even in rains?
• The excitement when they tell stories about their friends, and we listen attentively without looking at the phone or doing some work
• Getting a gift, without they asking for it or it being a birthday
• Being allowed a sleepover at their friends
• Having their buddies over for a birthday party
• Gulping down an extra piece of chocolate
• That feeling of pride when the see their parents achieve something
• Be inspired to keep their surroundings clean when they see us not littering

But in hard times, can we also feel what they be going through –

• When their best friend has stopped talking to them
• Their favourite thing got lost somewhere in the house
• The feeling when they have to face you knowing fully well that they have made a mistake
• How they must be feeling when we howl at them for not completing their homework/ task
• Imagine their state when we keep pointing their mistakes and compare them with their sibling/ friends; and ignore all the good things they are doing
• When we parents are arguing in front of them, how insecure they might be
• They see us lying, but we preach them the importance of truth
• The teacher scolded them infront of the class and they were in tears

Our kids are always going to our kids, irrespective of how old they are. The age gap shall remain forever. In parents, they are looking for love, respect, guidance, admiration, appreciation, inspiration, and so much more.

In our busy routine, we seem to be looking at them through our eyes, and maturity. But we tend to forget that they are still small and young. They don’t have maturity or experience like we do. Though they might not explicitly ask, but they are seeking our help.

I feel the kids deserve to be dealt with gently. Yes, they might do things which we might absolutely not like. But let’s agree that their current behaviour is a result of how we have dealt with them in their past. By shouting or raising our hands we are actually hiding our limitations.

I know that this is a herculean effort and will require tons of patience. But then is this not what parenting is all about? Getting the kids into this world was our decision. Instead of feeling burdened, the kids must feel blessed to have come into this world. This will largely depend on what kind of parenting has happened in their formative years or what will happen today and in future.

My humble request – next time your kid is going through a tough time (for us which might seem miniscule), try to step inside them and then handle the situation. It might completely change the way you handle that situation!

HAPPY PARENTING!