Legends say that – the Gods and Demons were constantly fighting and killing each other. They called truce and decided to churn the ocean to bring forth the ‘elixir of life’ so called as ‘amrutha’ to become immortals and hence fight peacefully without worrying about death.

Initially when they started churning the ocean, instead of ‘amrutha’ a deadly poison named ‘halahal’ came out in huge quantities, which had the potential to destroy life. Scared, Gods went to Shiva and asked for help. Without blinking an eyelid, Lord Shiva drank the poison. Seeing this Parvati immediately rushed and grabbed Shiva’s neck so that it didn’t go down his throat hence into his body. That’s the reason why Shiva throat is always blue and he is therefore called – ‘Neelkanth’ – the One with blue throat!

In our lives too, we need to ask this question especially in relationships. Ofcourse it does not mean verbatim, but something similar. When things are not going fine in relationships, which matter to us, one person has to drink the poison. Meaning – one person has to take a step back to get things back on track. I say ‘poison’ because taking an initiative to resolve a conflict is a bitter pill to swallow. It hurts the ego big time!

In relationships, here is how to drink the poison – saying (and meaning) sorry, keeping mum and not wanting to give it back to prove your point, listening patiently, taking the initiative and talk out the issues, giving a hug, putting arm around the shoulder, writing an sms/ whatsapp message, sending an appreciation note, going for a dinner, and similar. The idea is to do something that will move towards resolving the issue at hand. If both keep trying to prove their point and argue, there will only be fights. Harmony or love will go a-begging.

Invariably, people feel that the one who takes the initiative is the one who is accepting it is their mistake. I totally disagree to this thought. The one who takes the initiative is the one who loves their peace of mind. They love themselves more over everything else.

Haven’t we seen that whenever important relationships are not going fine – at home, at workplace, with relatives, amongst friends etc. – nothing feels good? Everything we try to engage in outside the relationships also suffers. We are not at our best at all. We do not feel happy and content. Our output diminishes massively.

I strongly feel that when I try to mend things, I am helping myself. How and whether the other person responds or not is not in our hands. But taking the initiative to resolve things is certainly in my hands.

Even after the initiative if the other does not respond, the next course depends on the importance of that relationship. If it is extremely important to me, I have to keep trying various approaches until it works. If the relationship is not as important, once I know that you have made a sincere and genuine effort, I need to sit back and carry on with life. Either ways, the ultimate goal is – to have my peace of mind to be able to give my 100% in other things that I am doing.

Just like Shiva drank the poison to save the world, can you too drink to poison to save yourself the atrocities that come along when relationships are not going okay? DRINK THE POISON for yourself and don’t think you are doing it for others! It is one definite way to have a peaceful, happy and meaningful life!

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