As I looked out of my window, there were buildings, tall modern buildings. Some even had a terrace garden in an attempt to make up for the otherwise missing greenery. 

What was I thinking? I wondered to myself. How could I expect to see an empty space, or just space in a busy, bustling metropolis overflowing with tourists?

But, then within this same hustle and bustle, I walked through luxurious, wide, open spaces that were part of a majestic palace. The amount of peace, solace in that space was that piece of the puzzle that I had been looking for. 

Everything fit perfectly, everything felt perfectly aligned.

Breathe in. Pause, Breathe out. Pause.

Everything was centred around this cycle. I was aware of the pauses. The awareness grew with every pause. The right word here is “ठहराव”. 

I did not want to leave.

When I came back home, the same feeling of being locked-in crept back in. I looked out of every possible window but saw only buildings on the horizon. Buildings and more buildings. 

All the empty spaces around me had filled up quickly!

What have we done to our cities? Our cities must look so ugly to all the birds when they see it from up above. 

What I crave is that one spot amongst everything that allows my eyes to rest. My mind finds a refuge, a safe space where it is not challenged into taking those constant fight or flight decisions. The experience of feeling and experiencing vacantness is a blessing. 

I do experience this pause, in yoga, in pranayamas, in meditations, when I am sitting still. The difference between the earlier experiences and these is that, here my eyes are closed. What I seek is inside me. 

Which reminds me of a famous quote of my Guru “In is the only way Out!”. 

Long back, I had done a piece on Empty Spaces. Do read that and then let me know what your experiences are.

The beauty of an empty space is made more alluring by the possibility of taking a guilt free pause, during our busy lives. 

It is these pauses that I think we are being denied every day.