DATED – 12th September 2015

Indian boxer Mary Kom is indeed an inspiration to millions of people. A movie was made on her life, which was brilliant too. After watching it in the theatre, I was watching it again day before at home post dinner. In one of the scene, after Mary (Priyanka Chopra) has delivered two kids, she is chatting with her husband – Onler (Darshan Kumar). With tears in her eyes, she tells Onler, “My boxing career is over. I can’t be a boxer ever again with two kids. My body will not co-operate.” Like a good husband, he immediately replies, “Who said you can’t do it. Mary, I know one thing that if a girl from a village can become a ‘world champion’ once, if she chooses, she can restart her career too. If anyone in this world can do it, Mary it is only you!” The rest is history.

Onler could have chosen to MAKE her or BREAK her with his words and actions. He chose to make her. Shifting the focus onto us, what kind of person are you – Maker or Breaker –

• Your child doesn’t score well in the exam. Do you rip him apart to break him or do you get determined to make him? (Do remember your times as a student too. Were you as good as you expect them to be?)
• Your wife’s self-belief is low. Do you encourage her enough to make her in various ways or do you become sarcastic, mock her and break her even further?
• An employee has overlooked something and invited a loss for you. Do you understand the issue, sort it out for him and hence make him? Or do you fire him like crazy thus breaking him?
• Your daughter comes and complains about her in-laws. Do you encourage her and tell two more ways to revolt? Or do you ask her to understand that the family of the husband comes in as a package, and few things have to be let gone. Do you help her make her married life or do you break the relationships at her in-laws’ place?
• You and your partner have different views on a business aspect. Do you talk in a harsh and dominating way so that the partner thinks of breaking the partnership; or do you take time to think on his suggestions too and hence make it stronger by respecting his views?
• Your little brother does something, which, according to you, is not okay. Do you scold him and take advantage of your age? Do you ensure you do everything so that he doesn’t do it again, by breaking him emotionally (and physically for some of us) or do you step by step construct and make him into a mature human being?
• Your student doesn’t behave well in the class. As a teacher, do you embarrass her by giving punishments, or do you actually make her sit next to you and explain about the good and not so good things of life? Are you making or breaking your students?
• You have grown into an adult because the parents did the best they could do. How are you treating them now? At a slightest error from them, do you go all out to break them by verbal tantrums? How about giving them best moments of their lives when they need you the most? We need to make their old age a delight.

What others will say is never in my control. People in the world might seem to be on a mission to break me. But I need to stand tall and make myself, create myself, come what may. At the same time, when I am present in someone’s life, I will do everything possible to make them and do nothing to break them – whether it is by deeds or words.

Vis-à-vis my life –

By nature, I have been a very mild person. I don’t recollect any incident where I have broken someone physically or emotionally. Yes, there have been times when there have been disagreements, but they have always ended well and on a positive note. A huge credit for this goes to my parents, family and teachers for shaping me.

I sincerely believe that anyone who breaks is never wanted and appreciated by the world. The people who are in demand and inspirations are those people who believe in making and creating fellow human beings. I think it is one of the noblest things to do.

Let’s us do everything possible and MAKE people, and definitely NOT BREAK people!