It was a regular Monday morning after a long weekend of 15^th August; time was around 7.45am. I was doing my exercises in our family (common) room, Arpita in our room and so were my parents, who have been exercising most consistently and religiously every morning ever since the coronavirus has hit the world. (Before that, they were going for Yoga class for almost 10 years!)

At that moment, my brother, Ankur, walked out of his room with the youngest member of our family – Iyana. She was up early today, since 6am to be precise, and was just not ready to go back to sleep. She dragged Ankur to the ground floor wanting to see her favourite cat. As she walked down, however, she saw another of her favourite – her grandparents! Her excitement knew no bounds and she jumped towards her grandmom. Granny being a granny, abandoned her exercises, something that is so dear to her, and started playing with Iyana.

Though physically I was still exercising, my mind went back to when Anay-Aavya were younger than now. They too demanded attention from their grandparents, especially when they were doing something else like – exercising, talking on the phone, eating, chatting with friends/relatives, resting, and other things. The twins didn’t care; they just wanted the grandparents’ attention! And attend they did! In these four years, I have never seen the grandparents frown or sulk that they had to leave what they are doing and pay attention to the kids. They happily just switched. In fact I should say – they excitedly switched!

The world is moving towards more nuclear families. After turning eighteen or getting married, kids no longer stay with their parents. They say that they feel constricted or that they do not get their space. But looking at the situation at my home, I feel that the role of grandparents can just not be discounted. Their role is so important and so huge!

• Their experience of raising kids is of immense help when we don’t know what to do when kids are not feeling okay
• After seeing so much life, they can guide us about the dos and don’ts of raising children
• They are a huge moral support, especially to the ‘just become mother’
• They instill lovely values in the kids
• They pass on the culture to their grandchildren, which we as parents definitely cannot
• Their storytelling sessions get kids glued to them
• The patience with which they can feed the kids is beyond comprehension
• Their energy gets doubled when they have to take care of the kids. The kids learn that and become more energetic
• They will always pass positive and healthy vibes to the kids, irrespective of how much tantrum the kid will throw. That is something that will never be available in the outside world
• They will shower the kid with love, blessings, and good thoughts

I feel that GRAND-Parenting is as important for today’s generation as parenting is. What the grandparents can give, we can never imagine giving as a parent. Yes, even they have some limitations and things that we may not like. But hey, don’t we have limitations, too? Even they might not like some of the things that we do. But they do put up with us, don’t they?!. And so should we. When we learn to co-exist with our elders, today’s generation will learn too. They learn by watching us, and not just by listening to us.

A few of us live in different cities than our parents. Make a visit to them with kids once a year. Stay for a couple of weeks. Some of us might be staying in separate houses in the same city; stay together for weekends or on some holidays. Even if you miss out on friends, it’s okay. But grandchildren and grandparents must stay together. (Here, grandparents are not just husband’s parents, but also wife’s parents). In case your parents are no more, tell your kids stories about them. They get mesmerised.

Keep your personal issues (if any) aside and bond with your parents for your kids. The kids will only love you for giving them an experience of staying with their grandparents. PARENTING IS NOT ABOUT YOU, BUT ABOUT YOUR KIDS! I can vouch for this bonding in spite of not knowing your parents or your kids!