Children can be handful, isn’t it? Specially the kids of the current generation. They seem to be glued to screens; don’t listen to things, which are good for them; don’t talk properly; have weird thinking; prefer to stay away from our friends and relatives; are disrespectful; are too distracted; care a damn about their future; don’t have their priorities right; get angry too easily; and usually are too upfront about their choices!

We were never like that. We were by and large good kids. Never troubled our parents, teachers or elders for anything. We listened to them and respected them. They just had to tell us and it would be done – no questions asked

Needless to say, the comparison is between the kids of today and how we were when we were kids. That’s what leads to irritation and we feeling upset about today’s generation.

In such times, we adults try to control the situation. We are physically stronger and have a louder voice than the kids. To get things done our way, we either manhandle them physically or talk to them in a loud tone. In a way to try to FORCE our way onto them.

Kids are no match to us. They might try to defy our way, but eventually have no option. Our children have to listen to us. They might throw tantrums, cry, throw things, shout, etc. But if you are firm, they eventually realise that they have to give in.

The point here is – FORCE of any kind always leads to RESISTANCE. Once there is resistance, the peace is always lost. We lose control on ourselves and end up using words, which we would have never used. The kids do the same. They do things, which we know is not them. It leads to a horrible situation.

I strongly suggest that we eliminate this concept of FORCE, especially with kids. You don’t like things forced upon you, do you? Then how fair is it to expect the children to happily accept it? They will resist indeed.

Instead of forcing things and concepts, CONVINCE them. I know it is not easy and requires tremendous patience. Even if you try to convince, they will have their own reasons and pre-occupations. But as adults, aren’t we supposed to be more mature too? Can’t we sound more convincing to our children with our life experiences, which are certainly more than those of the kids?

For us to be convincing, we will need to be creative with our solutions and suggestions. If there is something, which is good for them and they are not realizing, try hundred ways until they get convinced. Forcing is easy, but will lead to resistance!

Moreover, forcing will always lead to lowering their self-image. The moment you convince a child, you improve their self-esteem. If you are someone who wants to build children for the future, please stop forcing and start convincing. Any effort with a right intent and frame of mind will eventually lead to the result you are expecting.

The question really is going to be – do you have the patience and the intent to move from FORCING to CONVINCING?

#parenting #mistakesinparenting #force #resistance #convince #patience