DATED – 30th November 2014

I was talking to one of my friends last week. As we were talking, we came to discuss about complications while buying a new car. She wanted to buy one particular car. The moment she thought she had decided, her father would tell her about another car. As she got convinced what her father was saying, her friend would tell her how someone was having an issue with the car she had decided to buy. If this was not enough, the brother-in-law had his own choice of car to convince her. The end result? She has not yet been able to decide which car to buy since the last two months. She has ultimately decided not to buy a car at all!

I believe almost all of us go through this kind of confusion at some point or the other. We feel we have decided something, but someone barges in to give their opinion, which leaves things complicated. It can happen in various things – which movie to watch; what to be have for dinner; what clothes will be right for the occasion tonight; where to go for holidays this time; which mobile is the most suitable for me; should I join gym, yoga, zumba or anything else; what career will get the best out of me; is it worth paying taxes genuinely; is it okay to lie; should I open up a second store; what is the best way of investing my money, and so on.

Various people with different backgrounds and thought processes will always give suggestions. Not that they want to confuse us, but most of the times it is a genuine concern. They want to help us out with noble intentions. But often our mind gets confused and hence delays our decision making process.

I heard a Marathi saying long ago when I was in school. The saying went – “Aikave Janache; Karave Manache!” In simple words it meant that listen to all that the world is saying. When it comes to decide, do what you feel is the best possible action. Let your ears be for the world, but when the time is for action, back yourself and take a decision. Here are a few situations –

• I want to keep my body fit. There are various options available. Let me choose that which excites me at the outset, rather than where my friends are going.
• There are innumerable places to see in the world. Someone or the other would have travelled there too. They would convince us that the destination they went to is the best. Let me choose the destination, the place I want to go to, rather than going where my best friend is asking me to visit.
• Let’s consider that there is a challenging situation within the family. Suggestions will flood in. But I need to think and choose the best possible solution that suits my family the best.
• Immediately the next day after marriage, my own loved ones expect ‘good news’. Between my wife and me, we need to take a call as to when we want to have a kid.
• I wish to do branding for my business to take it to the next level. Thousands of ideas will flood in. But I should be able to look at the options and budget and take a call accordingly.
• In an arranged marriage, my family will show me guys/ girls for marriage. But I have to live with the life partner for the rest of my life. How much ever the elders try convincing me that this person is right for me, but I should know that one ‘core quality’ I am looking for and say yes only to that person.

Vis-à-vis my life –

Earlier, I was always a person who would do things to keep people happy. Even if I didn’t like it, but if it would make someone happy because I listened to them, I would go ahead and do it. This was until I really understood the meaning of this ‘metaphor’.

Yes, I am a great listener (anyone who knows me well can vouch for it). I will listen to anyone and everyone. But when it comes to taking the action, I do what I think is the best thing to do in the situation. At times people do call me stubborn. But I know that’s not the reality. I am flexible where I think someone has a better solution. But where I know this is how I want things to be, I do things my way. However, I ensure that in the process I do not disrespect anyone and also use proper language.

There is no guarantee that the decision/ action will be a right one. If the decision backfires, our mind (and at times people) tells us – “See, you should have listened to him. He told you. But you think of yourself to be too smart.” We might go through this. But I think it’s perfectly alright, provided I am ready to learn and grow out of it. Additionally, I feel that if I have taken an action, then I am responsible for anything that happens. Hence, I will go all out to prove that the decision I took was right.

I personally feel that we must decide for our own lives. Yes, we must take suggestions. But the ultimate action plan should be mine. This one liner has made a huge difference to the way I live my life. Henceforth, MY EARS FOR THE WORLD; but ACTION BY ME!