being the BALD KOTHARI’s!The picture says it all, doesn’t it! This blog is about how the kids were not ready to go bald! Finally to convince them, I decided to go bald too! It was something I had never done in my life (which I can remember), but loved doing it this time! Hence kids and me call ourselves – being the BALD KOTHARI’s!

In India it is a tradition to shave off the kids hair. Some say it is auspicious while some think it will give better hair growth. As sons and husbands, we men have no choice but to agree! It is in the interest of larger good! 😉

When the kids were about fifteen months, elders felt that it is time for the auspicious ‘mundan’ (tonsure). We shaved their hair completely. We did that with a trimmer with an expert barber. The kids cried. But the bhua aka Juhi, held them in her lap and the process was done. Bribing with biscuits calmed them down.

Anay and Aavya grew up to become three years and began understanding things. They began to talk, express, feel and think. Now their mother and my wife Arpita felt – their hair needs to grow better, denser and straighter. That can happen only after shaving the hair with razor this time. To add to her belief one of our close friend told her that she shaved off her kids hair atleast four times. So, that was it – full bald again! To keep peace at home, I had no choice but to agree.

The kids had to be spoken to since they already understood what was happening. They decisively refused. They said that they do not want to go bald since they already had such good hair. Numerous ways of communication were not working.

In the background, with all the communication going on with the kids, a random thought occurred – why don’t I too go bald? I got excited with this thought. I never remember seeing my scalp ever in my life before this. For once I felt – someone please tell me also to go bald. I promised that I wouldn’t be as difficult as the kiddos. But to my dismay no one asked.

At one end the kids didn’t want to go bald and all the convincing was happening. On the other hand, I was hoping someone would ask me too, but nothing like that transpiring. Could someone please read my mind? Ask me too!

Finally, the wise me found a solution! I went to the kids one fine morning as told them – “Let’s three of us go BALD!” They were spellbound! From the corner of my eye I saw my in-laws going berserk! Arpita in her typical style said – “WHAT!”

I deliberately ignored the three and continued talking to the kids. Afterall they were the only ones who could help me. I kept telling them what an amazing thing it would be when three of us clicked bald photos together. I told them that people will laugh at me in office; my friends will be surprised; but it will be so much fun! I also told them how we could play tabla on our heads, and it will be a chance to see how smooth the top of head is! We will also be able to feel the wind on our head, which we have never felt before.

To my surprise, this idea now thrilled them! They started motivating me to take them to the barber immediately. When kids give such an opening, we don’t miss it, do we! Within a couple of days we finalized a place to get them clean-shaven!

The plan was – I would go first then Anay and finally Aavya! When we reached at the barber, Anay said – he would go first! So be it said we! Then I was supposed to go, but Aavya jumped on to the seat and went through! Finally I was on the chair – with heart pumping fast! In the mirror I saw Arpita and the kiddos giggling! They were having a laugh at my expense, which I didn’t mind at all! What a moment this was! I cherish it till date.

 The easiest way would have been to force the kids to do this because we as elders/ parents think it is the right thing to and for their good. But important thing was – what happens to the kids? What would they be going through when we force them to do something? Would that create a scar in their hearts? Would their fragile mind draw some wrong conclusions? Could they go in a shell, which will later take herculean efforts to open up?

Forcing would have been an easier and quick solution, but might have dented the kids in some way or the other. The other way was to convince and motivate them to get it done. It would surely need patience from the parents and lot of communication. But when they decide to go for it, they are happier doing it. At the end of it, we would have increased their self-belief and given them the confidence that someone cares for them and they will be heard!

Kids of today need inspiration more than an inspirational talk. They follow what they see and not necessarily what we say.

As good parents, we need to –

• HAVE PATIENCE to answer their seemingly irritating questions!
• SHOW MORE and TALK LESS!

When I look back those times, I feel proud to have done that. Yes, there were many people who laughed and questioned me going bald. But then I did not do it for others or thinking about them. I did it for my kids and myself! Afterall I wanted to show more and talk less.

Today, on 19^th July 2021 they have turned FIVE. Parenting has been an awesome experience and a wonderful journey so far. Some uncomfortable moments are always there, but then there are innumerable memorable ones too! It is becoming delightful every passing day.

Looking forward to more parenting experiences these kiddos bless us with!

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