DATED – 29th May 2015

Did you ever make statements like – I don’t know why I did this; I really didn’t want to say that; why in the world do I get angry with you for such small issues; I regret hitting you, my child; I shouldn’t have taken that decision; I really wish I hadn’t become emotional that time; I don’t know what stopped me from grabbing that opportunity; and so on.

Isn’t it surprising that at times we end up saying / doing things which we didn’t want to do? Later, we even regret doing that. We don’t necessarily always seem to be in control of our words and actions. It’s liking sitting on the driver’s seat and saying, “I am not driving the car, it is automatically doing everything.” How many people would be willing to sit in your car then? Rather, would you yourself feel safe sitting in such a car?

As you read further on, see if you can answer these –

• If you are going through a rough patch (at work, in a relationship etc.), what gets you back on track? Rather, do you know what makes you smile and come out of that situation?
• What all makes you angry? In case the same situation comes to you after you have calmed down, would you have reacted in the same way?
• What quality do you appreciate / hate the most in a person? Or, what is that one quality that pulls you or pushes you away from a person?
• Why are you doing what you are currently doing? Is it because you love it? Or, is it family pressure? Or, is it because you don’t know what else to do?
• Why is it that you are growing / not growing at the pace you wish to? What propels / stops you to move higher in life?
• Is there anything specific that turns your mood off?
• If you are in a negative frame of mind, can you handle yourself and come back to positivity or do you need someone to help you out? If you don’t need anyone, that’s great. In case you do, whom do you go to?
• Do you behave in a particular way when someone is watching you and differently when you are not being watched? Though you know it’s not right, why do you still end up being different? Are you scared of something?

I don’t enjoy it when I didn’t want to do something, yet ended up doing it or I didn’t want to speak such ill words, but they seemingly fell out of my mouth. The easiest thing to do is to blame others for our ill actions, our words, our failures etc. But the fact remains that if only I would have known myself a little more and hence been ‘in-control’, I wouldn’t be suffering the way I am currently.

We love to be ‘in-control’ of situations in various roles of our lives, don’t we? The bad news is – wanting to be ‘in-control’ and actually being ‘in-control’ are two different things. But, the good news is – it is possible to be ‘in-control’. All we need to do is to take a little time out of our busy schedules and watch ourselves. Ask and answer the above questions and maybe a few more.

Vis-à-vis my life –

I keep looking at myself at every possible opportunity. This is one thing that has helped me grow, and improve than what I earlier was (hence, my signature at end of blog always reads – always upgrading). Of course, there are places where I know improvement is possible, and I am already at it. Whenever I watch someone become successful in any role, I ask myself – how to do as well as he/she is doing. And improvement happens in me. I rarely go through phases where I am doing / saying things which I shouldn’t.

When I am ‘in-control’ of myself, good things can be repeated innumerable times; whereas negative things can be discarded at my discretion. If I am not ‘in-control’, situations and people around me will decide how I act and behave. I will feel like a football kicked by 22 players on the field in directions they think is appropriate to score a goal.

I am sure none of you reading this blog would want to be kicked like a football. I know none of you would like to be controlled by someone else. If not, the only option that remains is to understand ourselves better by asking above and/or similar questions. Only when that happens will we feel to be “IN-CONTROL”. I strongly feel that a great life is a life where I am IN-CONTROL!