A decade ago, I was at the temporary passport office run by TCS in Hyderabad waiting for my turn for the biometrics. In the narrow corridors, I found a small bench on which I sat to rest my feet after standing in a line for three hours to do the initial paperwork.

An elderly man entered in a wheelchair pushed by a male caregiver. I spontaneously stood up, nodded at the caregiver, and offered him my seat. The man in the wheelchair laughed and said, Madam, I’m already seated. I smiled back and said, “Yes, I see that. I’m offering your caregiver my seat. I noticed that he’s been standing all morning.” The elderly man was stunned at my reply and gave me a curt look. The caregiver for his part, declined my seat and smiled. He was stunned because someone thought about him.

Patients get used to all the attention and care from doctors, nurses, visitors, relatives, family, and friends. They like it all too. However, they don’t understand the efforts of the caregiver. Caregivers are ignored and uncared for. Patients should be grateful and appreciate caregivers every day.

When a family member falls ill, a spouse, child, or relative takes on immense responsibilities. Caring for a loved one can be emotionally, physically, and financially draining. Suppose a man has heart surgery, he proudly demands that his wife be at his service for the next three months. This is unreasonable. Her sanity is at stake. If she is affected, then who will take care of her? The wife needs to socialize or relax herself regularly to maintain her sanity. Patients can be demanding and irritable, but the caregiver has to maintain a calm and pleasant demeanor.

Additionally, critical patients and those who are going through years of illness insist on personal attention, act stubborn, and don’t see reason. Unfortunately, others in the family start passing comments and highlighting how insensitive the caregiver is. No matter what, it impacts the caregiver and affects their health.

Caregivers have many responsibilities including emotional and physical, managing the house and outside activities.  This leads to burnout, strain, isolation, and financial burden. Supporting the caregiver is essential. How does one do that?  

• Provide emotional support and stress management.
• Appreciate the task done or gentle conduct.
• Relieve the caregiver, a minimum of once a week. They deserve a rest day where they can relax without bothering about the patient.
• Remind them to take breaks, rest, and prioritize their well-being.
• Provide support by coordinating doctor’s appointments and arranging logistics and labor in case the patient has to be lifted into a car.
• Help by buying special medicines, visiting the pharmacy, and arranging for supporting equipment such as a walking stick, walker, etc.
• Encourage caregivers to relax and indulge in self-care. Let them:
• Go for a walk in nature/a temple visit.
• Meet friends to laugh out or express the stress and strain.
• Maintain social connections and relationships.
• Indulge in their hobbies or interests.
• Distract themselves from their “duties”.

Let’s recognize and support the unsung heroes at home—caregivers—who selflessly care for their loved ones.