Recently the stand-up comedian Zakir Khan made a profound statement – You should feel warm and safe inside your home. This includes your extended family, a family that you inherited. Do what it takes to maintain the peace because the fight with the outside world is continuous. 😊
A few years ago, I met Umesh, a cab driver who had implemented this thought and went way beyond the call of duty to keep his family united. On our long drive, we struck up a conversation where he happily, with a dash of pride told me about his efforts to keep his family together so that his children could enjoy the benefits of a joint family.
Umesh hails from a small village near Ratnagiri. He lives with his wife and two children in Pune to earn a living. He has three brothers and one sister. He noticed that his children didn’t enjoy visiting the village during the summer holidays, on probing he found that they resented the discomfort of the elders, discreet partiality, the taunts they had to hear about their city lifestyle, etc. Umesh took this matter seriously. He wanted his children to enjoy their summer vacations with their cousins and create a strong bond among them just as he had enjoyed the togetherness during his childhood. He discussed his action plan with his wife and sought her support to maintain family ties.
Umesh visited the village and met his siblings. They thought he was leading a grand life in the city while they struggled in the village. They did not account for his city-life struggles. After analyzing the situation, he understood the bottom line was about their joint property. He knew if he let this issue remain the family would break up yet the issue would not be resolved. He decided to be the mediator and resolve the issue. With the consent of his siblings, the property was divided and the profits were shared. It took a while but he got the legal work done much to everyone’s joy. The family reunion was a resounding success. He won the entire family’s hearts and was treated like a hero in the village. He felt blessed.
Yet, there were some glitches. He noticed his sister was still unhappy, she was not satisfied with her share. He discussed this point with his brothers, they felt she was unreasonable and should be left alone. Umesh anticipated that his sister would be the sore aunt and spoil the happy camaraderie. Unhappy with his sister’s discomfort, he gifted her his share of the property. Umesh’s only condition was that his sister should treat all the family members courteously and never make negative remarks. She agreed.
He returned to Pune happy to have resolved the issue, knowing that his wife and children had several homes to return to. Now, his children look forward to their summer vacations which delights Umesh. The joy on his face and voice, the swag in his body language, emitted his inner happiness. Umesh had the big picture in mind and walked the extra mile to keep the whole family bonded with affection.
The instance makes one reflect upon – How have you made a difference in keeping your family together?
Very wonderfully written and thought provoking!
Thank you! 😅
Yes family ties are important but at what cost. It feels good when you take this as a story and say happily lived ever after.
Imagine a situation few years later when umesh’s kids need money to join some college or start a career would his aunt provide the money? His kids will ask him was it worth to give away all his money rather than a part.
People say good happens to good people who do good deeds, but these good people have to taste a bitter spice of life to get the good life.
To keep the bond it is more important to give and not expect, but give only of you have extra.i have seen people still living an average life while people who they helped soar ahead without returning the help given to them.
Yes, agreed Umesh went beyond the call of duty.
The core thing for us to consider is – are you happy and comfortable inside your home? Do you feel loved and respected inside your home?
Outsiders are anyways not bothered about your happiness.
One has to ponder over – What is your contribution to maintain peace within your own family on a day-to-day basis. Do you appreciate the efforts of elders/ others in the family to keep it intact?
Lovely narration and inspiring story.
Thank you! 😊
In the modern times, it’s hard to see joint family together, it was a bliss reading this and remembering my childhood with joint family…
Glad you liked it. The point is that daily life at home should be peaceful. Minimize the conflicts at home because the outside world is anyways going to put you through a fight.
Beautifully written and thought provoking. Kids feeling safe and loved in their own home is most important and that means their parents shouldn’t bring their baggages into the family either. Extended family members’ actions are not in your hands but how you respond to them for the sake of your children is in your hand. Thank you for penning the importance of children’s mental health 🙏🏼😊
Hey, you got the gist of it, Bang On…!! 😍💘
Needs a really big heart’ and vision…. We can find inspiration from places we least expect.
Kudos to Umesh
True that! We can get inspired anytime anywhere. We need not do what Umesh did but we can definitely do everything possible to keep peace within our family.