When I scan my circle of family, relatives, friends and loved ones, I realise that there are some people who seem to be very easy going. I have no hesitation whatsoever to ask them for any help, take a suggestion, request guidance in matters of their expertise, and demand a favour without questioning what they will think about me. I can be myself with them. Such people are – APPROACHABLE.

On the other hand, there are some who are totally opposite. Even the thought of asking them starts with a question mark. There are doubts on whether or not it is worth asking them. I have to think of multiple ways of communication to ensure that I get their attention. My heart beats fast even at the thought of approaching such people when I don’t have an option. l call them – NON-APPROACHABLE.

Here are some litmus tests to know whether you are approachable or not –

• Are you a patient, non-interruptive listener?
• Do you handle situations without being biased
• How good are you at taking feedbacks?
• Do you allow other person to complete their sentence or jump to conclusions and start talking?
• If someone doesn’t like your work/ handling of a situation, what is your response?
• Do the people in lower hierarchy at your work place/ home feel comfortable to share their problems/ issues
• Are you sarcastic?
• Do you love taking the last word in a difference of opinion conversation?
• Do people hesitate before approaching you for help?
• Is anger an automatic response if things don’t go your way?
• Do you get aloof often?
• Has a stranger ever approached you to ask for something? Or does he approach someone else standing near you?
• Do you prefer to control a situation by raising your voice?
• Can your kids come to you to share whatever they have on their mind without thinking – what my mother/ father will say or think?
• If your child is looking for company to play with, do they prefer you or their friends?
• Do your loved ones need to see motivational videos or they find comfort in rather talking to you?

I have come to a conclusion that – a person who is approachable, usually has a YES face! They need not even say a word, but their face, body language and eyes say it all! Have you observed this – assume you are standing in a crowd. One person is looking for some directions. He chooses one of the person amongst the crowd. Have you wondered why the stranger choose that person and not others? The only logical reason is that the person looked approachable.

Thomas Jefferson was traveling by horseback with a group of colleagues. As they approached a river, they met others at the river who were on foot. The river had overflowed its banks and the current was swift. To cross the river was going to be a bit dangerous.

 A lone foot traveler approached President Jefferson and asked if he would take him across. The president agreed immediately and the man climbed behind him on the horse. They safely crossed the treacherous river.

 Afterwards, another person asked the lone traveler, “Why did you ask the president of the United States to take you across the river?” The man, with a shocked look on his face, admitted he had no idea that he had asked the president of the United States. “All I knew,” he said, “is that on some of your faces was written the answer ‘no’ and on some of them was the answer ‘yes.’ His was a ‘yes’ face.”

If you ever want to be with people, being approachable or having a YES face is the most important thing to do. Few easiest ways of doing this is –

1. Always wear a smile
2. Look eye to eye and not try to ignore fellow humans
3. Respect people because they are humans

Today the world is progressing at jet speed in terms of technology, innovation and comfort. But at the same time we don’t seem to have time for fellow human beings. We rarely have a conversation without gadgets, television or some work in hand. Heart to heart conversations are a privilege these days. We are missing out on our dear fellow human beings, their love and emotions! We are becoming more machines and less humans.

I wish to appeal to each one of you in reading this blog to make a conscious effort to have a YES face and become approachable. If we have to give humanity a chance in modern times, we need to start with this small step!