A majority of people I have come across have told me – in today’s world, being a NICE GUY is the worst thing to do – it is a sign of weakness; others will take advantage of your goodness; nice people do not make a good businessman; they invariably get emotionally hurt; they are very vulnerable; and so on
If you talk to anyone who knows me, the first thing they will tell you in – He is a NICE GUY! Since I am referred to as a NICE GUY, I thought of putting down my experiences/ thoughts of being one!
What does being NICE GUY mean? To me, it means the following – being genuine in words and actions; not take advantage of the weak; make promises and keep them even if it means a personal loss; care for others; being empathetic; help someone who is stuck in a situation; isn’t biased while resolving an issue; doesn’t take people’s trust for a ride; ain’t a dual personality; happily push others to grow and become better; make suggestions to nudge people in right direction; is patient; and is an interested good listener!
I have seen both sides of being Mr. Nice – good and bad. Yes people have taken me for granted, I have been ridiculed, few people in the world have taken advantage, I have been laughed at, sarcastic comments have been passed, my capabilities as a businessman have been questioned, closest buddies have moved away thinking I am not good enough for their company, and my opinions were not considered important as I was supposed to be okay with anything!
But there have been some wonderful things that have happened too – till date I have never lost a relationship; if I was not playing the game, I was always made a referee/ umpire because I was going to be fair and calm to resolve a situation; my team rallied around me when I was the captain of a team of about 50 people in a sports convention, which we almost won; clients take my word for the sheer reason that I will not lie/ make up false stories; I am a trustworthy human being; tough clients have paid only me and stopped payment for other vendors only because they saw me as a nice guy; we have a amalgamation of authors at THE POSITIVE DIARY because I approached people and they resonated with my thoughts on starting this; employees stick with me for the way I am as a person; clients buy from me as I was nice while showing them stuff without caring if they bought or not from me; people have opened their heart without any preoccupations; if I ask for a favour, people are more than happy to accommodate my request; and ofcourse there are many more things that have happened!
As you can see, the positives of being a nice guy are clearly more than the disadvantages!
From my experiences in life so far, I have concluded that – as far as getting emotionally hurt or being vulnerable is concerned, it has nothing to do with being nice. It is more on how I think or respond in situations, which are tough/ unfavourable. If I look at solutions, practice acceptance and have Faith, nothing can shake me.
What also matters is what I think about myself. If people tell me that I am good for nothing and I believe them, then I am the biggest fool. Others will always have an opinion without knowing the whole story. That shouldn’t dictate my life or what I think of myself.
There is one huge problem with NICE PEOPLE. I have seen many who think that being nice is an achievement by itself. It means that even if we do not live upto our potentials it is okay. That is so untrue. It pains to see nice human beings not doing enough in their lives.
The world today is in search of people who are NICE at heart and thoughts, but ACHIEVERS in action! Some great examples and my favourties who fit in this category are – Rahul Dravid, Mahendra Singh Dhoni, Kane Williamson, Roger Federer, Mother Teresa and Celine Dion.
I have decided to step up! If you think you can be one of us, please join the gang! The world needs us more than ever before!
Let’s together make this world a NICE and AMBITIOUS PLACE to live in!
#Motivation #self-motivation #Positive #Growth #Dravid #Dhoni #Kane Williamson #Roger Federer #Mother Teresa #Celine Dion #ambitious #nice
Very nicely written Amit. I can actually relate to this blog of urs. But at the end of the day u feel good as u have been a nice person. Sometimes u become the culprit for no reason. N sometimes the situation is in ur favour. Everything is two sided. But that’s life. But u should be true to urself that’s important.
Thank You Didi!
Feeling good about oneself is the most important thing. With ups and downs being a norm, staying positive in all situations is the best gift to oneself!
Great article Amit. I have faced all these issues being considered as a nice guy. One point in time I did think about changing myself and become not so nice. But then I thought why should I change? People who have a problem with this should change. Not me. Because after all, THEY are not nice. Not me. 😀 and I am still unchanged. But yes, it is not easy to be nice and stay nice. Felt a lot lighter after reading your article.
Thanks a lot dear.
So glad that the article made you feel light and good about yourself.
Like I said – there needs to be a GANG of NICE PEOPLE!
Same replicates with you and me dear.
This article is wonderful subject in today’s virtual world.
Indeed it does! We sail in the same boat.
The way you took over your father’s business in tough situations and have scaled it is so amazing to see!
By far the best among all the lovely thoughts you share Amit!
Not very closely but I have seen your journey. I can vouch that being nice and honest has nothing to do with vulnerability. Be good…be strong too…!
( loved the phrase “interested good listener”)
Thank you.
Thanks a ton!
You have seen the journey closely than many others. And I am sure you have overheard lot of sarcasm about me.
But, that’s what helped me what I am today.
You are right – Nice people can’t afford to be vulnerable!
Nicely narrated and true in todays world … You always inspire through your writing …
Thanks brother ……