Battling the weakness of a strong viral fever, Kandanaay* answered his mother’s phone call. After the obligatory ‘how are you’s, she cut to the point, “Don’t get drained away completely; remember you need to look after Juhi too. How is her health?!” Meanwhile, I was (thoughtlessly) munching away on chips browsing through Netflix – after bouncing back from my bout of viral.

While I binged on the perks of living as a nuclear family, Kandanaay, clearly, was handed the raw deal of it!

In between the frequent trips to the bathroom and dizzying weakness through the night, the poor chap was on high alert even if my snore turned a pitch higher. Despite his problems, he chose (subconsciously, maybe) to take on ‘responsibility’ of his ‘family’. No situation warranted him a slack…

A couple of days later, Kandanaay’s health took us to trips in the midst of 2021’s puzzling lockdown, albeit to the X-ray and CT Scan rooms. An overburdened laboratory also took his swab for testing. Deciphering the scans, the doctor promptly put him on medication to combat COVID 19! Thus began our ordeal to constantly stare at oximeter readings that blinked at 95. “All okay there, Champ!” the doctor would reply over WhatsApp…

Pretty rapidly, but in an unpredictable blink of an eye, things went downhill. A frantic search for a hospital bed led us to an ashram converted into an Isolation Centre in an easy-to-miss bylane of the city. We got Kandanaay admitted immediately. As he walked up to his floor doubling with chafing dry cough every other second, a tear rolled down on my cheek – recharting its dried trail…

Briskly, and obviously, I was accommodated in my parents’ home immediately. My quarantine room, by the terrace, cut me off from the world outside and below. Like Rapunzel, all I would do was sit with my thoughts and cry… waiting to unite with my partner – a tall, dark, handsome man!

My emotional balance was tipped; what must one expect through the unpredictability of COVID! While Kandanaay recuperated in the hospital with salines and injections in the tummy, my mind wasn’t to be tamed. Tears would swiftly roll down in a fraction of seconds. The fear of the virus’s potency left me restless.

It took all but two (long) days for Kandanaay to bounce back… Everyone around relaxed too! Things were on the road to normalcy for both the families.

But…

I wasn’t ready yet!

Our case wasn’t exactly serious. Yet, the psychological impact it had on me was huge. One of my most loved persons was attacked by a deadly virus; how was I supposed to overcome this reality in a matter of few days?! I wanted him in front of me, next to me, close to me, to feel okay!

“He’s doing good.” “Have faith.” “He’ll be back home soon.” “You’ve got to be strong!” And likewise, people around me kept encouraging me to restart stuff that I regularly indulged in.

But my heart rejected normalcy. It needed more time than others’…

The famous adage commands that ‘the show must go on’. My smart head quips, “The show has timings too…!”

Currently, I’m on ‘that’ break – the gap between the shows, where one gathers their bearings to put up a performance for the next time!

Everyone functions uniquely. While I choose to detach – from people, writing, social media, etc., there must be someone who’ll find solace on Instagram! To each their own!

Yes, the show must go on. Then again, must it always go on?

*Kandanaay (n): Tulu word for husband